YM 1.4 - Big Brother
First airtime BBC: 17 March 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Assistant floor manager | Jackie Foot | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Studio lighting | Peter Winn | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Annie Hacker | Diana Hoddinott | Make-up artist | Dorka Nieradzik | |
| Frank Weisel | Neil Fitzwiliam | Film Editor | Neil Pittaway | |
| Tom Sargent | Robert Urquhart | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| Robert McKenzie | as himself | Studio sound | Richard Chamberlain | |
| Godfrey Finch | Frederick Jaeger | Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |
| Topic floormanager | Andrew Lane (?) | Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |
| Topic director | Sheila Ferris (?) | Producer's assistant | Judy Loe | |
| Topic crewman | Matthew Roberton (?) | Production assistant | Brian Jones | |
| George (Jim's driver) | Arthur Cox (uncredited) | Design | Tom Yardley-Jones | |
| Producer | Sydney Lotterby | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn |
|||
Plot: Jim Hacker is being interviewed on television about the National Integrated Database, a new computerized database. He has difficulty in assuring the interviewer (and also the public) that there will be adequate safeguards to prevent unauthorized access by civil servants.
Back at the DAA his political advisor Frank Weisel accuses him of being just a Civil Service mouth piece. As he returns home his wife Annie agrees with this observation. Jim Hacker gets awfully depressed by this, but his wife reminds him how he used to work when he was editor of Reform. He therefore decides that safeguards must be introduced. He is the Minister, so he can demand them.
When he states these wishes to Sir Humphrey the next morning, Sir Humphrey fully agrees with them. But he points out that there are all sort of problems in introducing safeguards and Jim Hacker can not have access to any earlier work, since this was done under an opposition government.
In the evening Jim Hacker runs into his predecessor Tom Sargent. Tom explains the stalling 
technique that Sir Humphrey is using and also shares with him the White paper on the National Integrated Database that he had worked out. Jim Hacker is thrilled by this, but Sir Humphrey continues to claim there are still enormous problems in implementing safeguards.
Hacker therefore announces on television that the DAA is ready to introduce legislation on safeguards by next week. Furthermore, he says that his Permanent Secretary (Sir Humphrey) has staked his reputation on making the deadline.
Sir Humphrey of course is outraged by this move, which is checkmate as Bernard points out. The next morning after the television appearance Sir Humphrey presents some draft proposals for the safeguards. As it turns out these are exactly the same proposals as the white paper of Tom Sargent.
Rating (0-10): 9
Top 5 Quotes:
Jim Hacker: "The opposition aren’t the opposition."
Annie Hacker: "No of course not, silly of me. They are just called the opposition."
Jim Hacker: "They are only the opposition in exile. The Civil Service is the opposition in residence."- Sir Humphrey: "If there had been investigations, which there haven’t, or not necessarily, or I’m not at liberty to say whether there have, there would have been a project team which, had it existed, on which I cannot comment, which would now have disbanded, if it had existed, and the members returned to their original departments, if indeed there had been any such members."
- Jim Hacker: "How do you defeat them [the Civil Service]? How do you make them do something they don’t want to do?"
Tom Sargent: "My dear fellow…. If I knew that I wouldn’t be in opposition." - Jim Hacker: "Look Tom, you were in office for years. You know all Civil Service tricks."
Tom Sargent: "Oh not all good boy, just a few hundred." - Sir Humphrey: "It must be hard for a political adviser to understand this, but I’m merely a civil servant. I simply do as I am instructed by my master."
Jim Hacker: "What happens when a Minister is a woman, what’ll you call her?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, that is rather interesting. We sought an answer to that point when I was Principal Private Secretary and Dr. Edith Summerskill - as she then was - was appointed Minister in 1947. I didn’t quite like to refer to her as my mistress."
Jim Hacker: "What was the answer?"
Sir Humphrey: "Oh, we’re still waiting for it."
YM 1.5 - The Writing on the Wall
First airtime BBC: 24 March 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Assistant floor manager | Jackie Foot | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Studio lighting | Peter Winn | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Frank Weisel | Neil Fitzwiliam | Make-up artist | Dorka Nieradzik | |
| Martin (Foreign Secretary) | Tenniel Evans | Film Editor | Neil Pittaway | |
| Jumbo | John Savident | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| Daniel Hughes | Daniel Moynihan (?) | Studio sound | Richard Chamberlain | |
| Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |||
| Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |||
| Producer's assistant | Judy Loe | |||
| Production assistant | Brian Jones | |||
| Design | Tom Yardley-Jones | |||
| Producer | Sydney Lotterby | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn |
|||
Plot: Jim Hacker is not happy with a report his department is writing for the Cabinet's Think Tank on reducing the number of civil servants. He wants the report to state that the DAA is aiming at a phased reduction of the Civil Service with 200,000 people. When his civil servants however have drafted and redrafted the report this message gets lost.
He therefore decides to write the report himself. Sir Humphrey learns about this through Bernard and is infuriated. He cannot prevent Jim Hacker from planning to send this report to the Think Tank, even though he tries very hard.
At the Cabinet meeting Sir Humphrey learns from Daniel Hughes, who is the PM's Senior Policy Advisor, that Jim Hacker will get his way; the PM has decided to abolish his Department of Administrative Affairs. Now Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker will have to work together to save the department from closure.
They are also confronted with another political time bomb ticking; the PM wants the DAA to introduce the Europass. This Europass is a European identity card and equals political suicide for whoever tries to introduce it. They decide to consult the Foreign Secretary how to get out of this mess.
When asked about the Europass the Foreign Secretary explains that the PM will not drop the Europass until after the winner has been announced of the Napoleon prize. This NATO prize is for the statesman that contributed most to European unity, and the PM is a front-runner for this prize. Jim Hacker gets a brilliant idea: he threatens that a backbencher will directly ask the PM about his position on the Europass, unless...all rumours about the closure of the DAA are squashed. This works: the Department of Administrative Affairs is saved from closure.
Rating (0-10): 8
Top 5 Quotes:
- Sir Humphrey: "Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now when it's worked so well?"
Jim Hacker: "That's all ancient history, surely."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing [the EEC] up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn't work. Now that we're inside we can make a complete pig's breakfast of the whole thing: set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch. The Foreign Office is terribly pleased, it's just like old times." - Jim Hacker: "So when this next comes up at Question Time, you want me to tell Parliament that it's their fault that the Civil Service is too big?"
Sir Humphrey: "But it is the truth, Minister."
Jim Hacker: "I don't want the truth. I want something I can tell Parliament!" - Jumbo: "We should never let Ministers get so deeply involved. Once they start writing the draft, the next thing we know they'll be dictating policy."
- Jim Hacker: "Where will I go?"
Sir Humphrey: "Eh well, there is a rumour, Minister."
Jim Hacker: "Rumour? What rumour?"
Sir Humphrey: "A Minister with general responsibility for Industrial Harmony."
Jim Hacker: "Industrial Harmony?! You know what that means, don't you? That means strikes. From now on every strike in Great Britain will be my fault." - Jim Hacker: "When you give your evidence to the Think Tank, are you going to support my view that the Civil Service is over manned and feather-bedded, or not? Yes or no? Straight answer."
Sir Humphrey: "Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage."
YM 1.6 -The Right to Know
First airtime BBC: 31 March 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Properties buyer | Bob Sutton | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Assistant floor manager | Jackie Foot | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Studio lighting | Peter Winn | |
| Annie Hacker | Diana Hoddinott | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Jumbo | John Savident | Make-up artist | Dorka Nieradzik | |
| Lucy Hacker | Gerry Cowper | Cameraman | Peter Ware | |
| Environmentalist woman | Harriet Reynolds (?) | Film Editor | Neil Pittaway | |
| Environmentalist man | Roger Elliott (?) | Vision mixer | Bill Morton | |
| Studio sound | Richard Chamberlain | |||
| Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |||
| Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |||
| Producer's assistant | Judy Loe | |||
| Production assistant | Brian Jones | |||
| Design | Tom Yardley-Jones | |||
| Producer | Sydney Lotterby | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn |
|||
Plot: In a meeting with Bernard Woolley, Sir Humphrey points out that things are going pretty badly at the DAA: the Minister is starting the run the department. It is Sir Humphrey's view that this is not the Minister's job, but his job. And Bernard should keep the Minister busy so he does not have time to run the department.
In the meantime Jim Hacker is meeting with a deputation discussing his new legislation to reform the preservation of Britain's natural heritage. The deputation is concerned about what happens to Hayward's Spinney when it's special protective status is removed. The Guardian reported that this threatens the existence of a whole colony of badgers.
After the deputation leaves, Jim Hacker is very angry with Sir Humphrey that he was not informed about this issue. He demands that in the future he gets fully informed about everything that happens within the DAA. Sir Humphrey promises to do so in the future. Jim Hacker sees this as a victory, but his wife Annie points out that this is just an open invitation for Sir Humphrey to swamp him with useless information.
In next morning's newspaper he is characterized as "Jim Hacker the badger butcher". When his daughter Lucy reads this she gets very angry with her father and she announces she will take action.
Jim Hacker later learns what kind of action she is planning: a 24 hour "Save the badger" nude protest vigil at Hayward's Spinney. This will definitely be a front-page story for the press and Jim Hacker begs her not to go ahead with it. However, she is determined unless he maintains Hayward's Spinney's protective status.
Then Sir Humphrey comes to the rescue: he found in the files that there is no badger colony in Hayward's Spinney anymore. The badger colony story came from a property developer that wanted to prevent the local council from building a school in Hayward's Spinney. Lucy therefore cancels her protest vigil at Hayward's Spinney. Jim Hacker is impressed and wants to take a look at the file. Sir Humphrey however does not want to show it and Jim Hacker begins to suspect that the property developer story was completely fabricated. Sir Humphrey points out that it sometimes is better for a Minister not to know.
Rating (0-10): 7
Top 5 Quotes:
- Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, do you see it as part of your job to help Ministers make fools of themselves?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, I never met one that needed any help." - Sir Humphrey: "Minister, I have something to say to you which you may not like to hear."
Jim Hacker: "Why should today be any different?"
Sir Humphrey: "Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position."
Jim Hacker: "I wonder what made you think I didn't want to hear that?" - Lucy Hacker: "It's because the badgers haven't got votes, isn't it?"
Jim Hacker: "He?"
Lucy Hacker: "If the badgers had votes you wouldn't be exterminating them, no you would be up there at Hayward's Spinney shaking paws and kissing cubs, and ingratiating yourself like you always do."
Annie Hacker: "Lucy, that's not a very nice thing to say."
Lucy Hacker: "It's true, isn't it?"
Annie Hacker: "Yes, but daddy is in politics. He has to be ingratiating." - Ecological activist: "There is nothing special about man, Mr. Hacker. We're not above nature. We're all part of it. Man are animals too, you know."
Jim Hacker: "I know that, I have just come from the House of Commons." - Sir Humphrey: "Make sure he [Jim Hacker] spends more time where he can't get under our feet and can't do any damage."
Bernard Woolley: "But where?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, the House of Commons for instance."
YM 1.7 - Jobs for the Boys
First airtime BBC: 7 April 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Properties buyer | Bob Sutton | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Assistant floor manager | Vivien Rosenz | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Studio lighting | Derek Slee | |
| Frank Weisel | Neil Fitzwiliam | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Sir Desmond Glazebrook | Richard Vernon | Make-up artist | Cheryl Wright | |
| George (Jim's driver) | Arthur Cox | Cameraman | John Baker | |
| Joe Morgan | Richard Davies | Film Editor | Alastair Mackay | |
| Sir George Conway | Brian Hawksley | Video tape editor | Steve Murray | |
| BBC interviewer | John D. Collins (?) | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| BBC editor | Charles McKeown (?) | Film Sound | Bob Roberts | |
| Studio sound | Alan Machin | |||
| Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |||
| Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |||
| Production assistant | Lesley Langan | |||
| Production manager | Brian Jones | |||
| Design | Dacre Punt | |||
| Producer | Peter Whitmore | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn |
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Plot: Sir Humphrey wants Bernard to prevent the Minister from referring to the Solihull-project in a radio broadcast Jim Hacker is going to give that morning. The Solihull-project is a building project in the Midlands financed in a partnership between the government and private sector.
Bradley of Sloane Enterprises - the partner from the private sector - however is on the verge of bankruptcy, threatening to take the whole Solihull-project down as well. This fact is not known by Jim Hacker, and Sir Humphrey is not eager to share this piece of information with the Minister.
When Jim Hacker arrives at his office, Sir Humphrey desperately tries to persuade him not to refer to the Solihull-project on the air. Since Sir Humphrey cannot provide a good reason (and does not tell him about the possible bankruptcy) Jim Hacker assumes that Sir Humphrey just wants to scare him. Jim Hacker rushes of for the studio.
Sir Humphrey in the meanwhile has lunch with Sir Desmond Glazebrook, chairman of a large bank. He hopes the Bank is willing to take over the contract from Bradley of Sloane Enterprises to save the Solihull-project. The Bank is hesitant about this but Sir Desmond is anxiously looking to get appointed to the Industrial Co-partnership Committee, a new government quango. An appointment to this quango is within the gift of Jim Hacker. Sir Humphrey decides that Sir Desmond is the ideal candidate for this job.
In the meanwhile, at Broadcasting House Jim Hacker talks very enthusiastically about the Solihull-project. After the discussion Joe Morgan, a trade unionist, approaches him about a special Birmingham allowance for his members. Jim Hacker rejects this but Joe Morgan says that he has got Jim Hacker by the short and curlies because he referred to the Solihull-project.
Jim Hacker begins to suspect there is something going on with the Solihull-project that he doesn't know. Even his driver George seems to know some things about the project.
Back at the office he asks Sir Humphrey about this but he only gets evasive answers. Then Frank Weisel comes into the office to talk about this quango abolition paper. This paper aims at ending political appointments for quangos. Jim Hacker is also very dissatisfied with the current quango 
practice and demonstrates this pointing at the latest proposed appointee: Sir Desmond Glazebrook. He announces he will definitely not appoint Sir Desmond Glazebrook.
Then Sir Humphrey shows him the file on the bankruptcy threat of the Solihull-project. Jim Hacker is shocked about this and realizes that he has committed himself to the project by referring to it in the radio interview. He begs Sir Humphrey to advise him how to get out of this mess. Sir Humphrey tells him that the Bank could take over the contract but is hesitant. It's chairman however is looking for a quango appointment, and that chairman is Sir Desmond Glazebrook. Now Jim Hacker fully agrees to appoint Sir Desmond. Furthermore they decide to ask Joe Morgan as a deputy chairman for this quango, since he also knows about the bankruptcy threat.
Frank Weisel is appalled by this and threatens to go to the press. Now Jim Hacker suggests to set up a super quango to evaluate all government quangos. This super quango requires a lot of foreign travel (California, West Indies, Tahiti) and Frank Weisel eagerly accepts the job.
Rating (0-10): 8
Top 5 Quotes:
- Sir Desmond: "So it all boils down to the Industry Co-partnership Committee. Still, I find that quite acceptable."
Sir Humphrey: "Well, it is within the gift of my Minister, and you would only put in appearances once or twice a month."
Sir Desmond: "Are there lots of papers?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but it wouldn't be awfully necessary to read them."
Sir Desmond: "Then I wouldn't have anything to say at the monthly meetings."
Sir Humphrey: "Splendid, I can see you're just the chap I'm looking for." - Sir Humphrey: "It takes two to quango, Minister."
- Bernard: "But can a 74 million pound building project on a nine acre site in the middle of a city be swept under the carpet?"
Sir Humphrey: "We'll use the Official Secrets Act."
Bernard: "But how can it possibly be a secret, it's so huge?"
Sir Humphrey: "It's a big secret, Bernard." - Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, is everything all right about the Solihull-project?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes Minister, I understand that the building works are proceeding quite satisfactory."
Jim Hacker: "No, no, that's not what I meant. Is something going on?"
Sir Humphrey: "Building is going on, Minister."
Jim Hacker: "No, no, Humphrey. I mean something is up, isn't it?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes indeed, Minister."
Jim Hacker: "What?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well the first floor is up and second floor is almost..."
Jim Hacker: "No Humphrey, I am talking about the whole basis of the thing."
Sir Humphrey: "Oh, I see."
Jim Hacker: "What can you tell me about that?"
Sir Humphrey: "Ah...well, as I understand it Minister, the basis is an aggregate of gravel and cement on six feet of best builder's..."
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, I think you know I am talking about the finance!" - Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured and tortured."
Bernard: "You mean by terrorists?"
Sir Humphrey: "By the BBC, Bernard."
